The grey fellows at Central Planning are losing their tea!
“This time, the Futurists have gone too far! We simply cannot abide this remarkable affront to the natural order of our public page. It simply will not do!”
The Futurists have offered an apology:
“Dear fellows and ladies, we beg your acceptance of our most sincere regrets. A simple experiment involving a new form of matter, which we presently refer to as Not-matter, has somehow escaped our finest grade ceramic containers and taken to this page you hold in your hands.
“Rest assured, we shall heal this inter-dimensional rift with all due haste.”
“For a view through the looking-glass, as it were, please do try the Wayback Machine – it is quite safe. Nothing could possibly go wrong.”
iTunes Link: SteamPunk Hockey HD
YouTube: SteamPunk Hockey HD gameplay video
Central Planning has just translated an important telegraphic communication from our Old World outposts in London, Prague, Milan and Kiev – SteamPunk Hockey HD (SPHHD) for iPad has launched a surprise assault upon the New World charts, in particular the Americas.
It is reported SPHHD is currently taken the high ground at #12 in Canada, and at #24 in the United States of the Americas. This is an unprecedented event with a most peculiar origin.
It is secondarily reported by anonymous sources close to the planners of this misfit event that the mission has its origins in a honest bet encouraged by several too many glasses of absinthe.
Both originating parties to the bet, a certain Ms. N____, a sophisticated lady of import in academic circles, highly renowned in literary and crafts fields, posited to a certain Mr. M____, a rather suspect gentleman (the label affixed rather loosely to the subject of said description) that it would be impossible to make a stone a seed, that is, make a success of this most uncertain gaming technology known to be so casual (and unknown) in nature.
Not one to be outdone by circumstance (and rumoured to be inspired by fancy of Ms. N____), Mr. M___ accepted the bet as a lark and thereafter removed all pricing from his prize SPHHD device.
Presently then we find ourselves caught up in momentous events with SteamPunk Hockey HD storming the iTunes Free charts of the Americas.
More news later as received by this office to be given immediate relay to you, the gentle reader.
Update: new telegraph states, SPH-HD has entered the Top 10 at #9 in the North Americas of Canada and United States Free/Games/Family shelves. Sources close to Mr. M___ state that all is proceeding according to exact absence of plan.
Engineering has reported the first successful around-the-earth transmission of an almost occultish nature, yet in fact is a first amongst the many technological triumphs of man.
We have successfully transported a series of moving images to the public square known casually as “You-Tubes”. Wherein our first positive results are confirmed by return signal, is the exact location of this new entertainment:
Engineering assures us the quality of the material is the utmost, and have sincere regard for the standards you, the gentle viewer, demand.
Central Planning is in a state of frenzied activity at the moment. The sudden influx of game players into SteamPunkHockeyopolis has turned the quaint village of Heigh-Dephanitian into a bustling seaport of culture and competition.
To support and interest our new arrivals, fellows in Mechanics are giving the standard paddle mechanism new upgrades, and Planning is remapping Heigh-D so as to unfetter traffic and rivalry.
The Futurists are nowhere to be seen, indicating they’ve recognized their time has come, and not a moment to lose!
Rest assured the cogwheels are in motion to deliver you, gentle player and SteamPunkHockeyoplian, new features and gameplay.
As part of the New Year’s App Blowout (link) SteamPunk Hockey HD for iPad has made another appearance in the USA Games/Arcade and Games/Family categories of the App Store, and appears in the UK Canada charts.
*update 1 currently #74 Games/Arcade & #72 Games/Family in USA, and #100 g/a, #87 g/f in Canada.
*update 2 currently #63 Games/Arcade & 54 Games/Family in USA, and 63/56 in Canada.
*update 3 USA: 57 Games/Arcade, 45 Games/Family, Canada: 55 g/a, 45 g/f, UK: 86, 70 Australia 86,74
25 promotional codes to give away for SteamPunk Hockey for iPod/iPhone!
Celebrating the holiday with a new iPhone or iPod Touch courtesy of Santa or another similarly charmed creature? Claim your free promo code for the victorian answer to modern-day plasticky air hockey!
Retina Display, Game Center. Reviewed by MacWorld, featured ‘New and Noteworthy by Apple 02/2010 Games section.
To win a free copy of SteamPunk Hockey for iPhone & iPod Touch via promocode, do the following:
1. Tweet “celebrate #merrychristmas SteamPunk Hockey for #iPhone #iPod with a free promo code!! http://bit.ly/h216zp ”
2. Visit our FaceBook page, ‘like’ or comment (and watch the article on Alex Lifeson’s steampunk amps, courtesy of Youtube): SteamPunk Hockey Facebook page
3. PM or state your twitter and facebook handles here to receive your code.
There are still 15 codes available for the SPH iPad version: SteamPunk Hockey HD promocode contest
Warm wishes and Good Cheer!
-Rebel Detailer #1 XyrisKenn at SteamPunkHockeyopolis’ Central Planning
Central Planning is pleased to announce a contest of limited duration for one of 25 free promotional codes for SteamPunk Hockey iPad!
iTunes Link: SteamPunk Hockey HD
The mad have overtaken the asylum! Detailers at Central Planning have tied up the boffins in Logistics and Appearances and started a campaign to promote SteamPunk Hockey HD. Oh, the calamity!
To win a free copy of SteamPunk Hockey HD via promocode, do the following:
1. Tweet “#lastminutegifts SteamPunk Hockey HD for #iPad is turning red-hot on the App Store with a free promo code!! http://bit.ly/fiEoDM ”
2. Visit our FaceBook page, like & comment on #ipadonlocation :http://on.fb.me/f8b8Tb
3. PM or state your twitter and facebook handles on TouchArcade (http://bit.ly/fiEoDM) to receive your code.
Cheers and Zappy Holidays!
-Rebel Detailer XyrisKenn at SteamPunkHockeyopolis’ Central Planning
iTunes: SteamPunk Hockey iPad
Fans and Friends, we at Central Planning of SteamPunkHockeyopolis are proud to announce, at long last, an update to v1.6!
Our technicians have recrafted this exquisite yet simple game with the most modern of technologies, including:
* Retina Display support
* iOS4.2 compatibility
* Game Center support with LeaderBoards and 39 achievements
* New music courtesy of Morningdew Media
* Updated game frameworks including OpenFeint.
* Multiply button to increase/decrease number of particles.
* The Game Robot polls online leaderboards and updates your unlocked levels to match your highest score. If there are different scores on OpenFeint and Game Center, the highest will be saved to the device.
* New icon
Our artisans have re-crafted the backgrounds and images to be of lighter weight in the memory of the device, and scores are now saved after each level.
Those paying the bills at Central have apparently hit the festive ‘nog’ as they have ninja-slashed the price of SteamPunk Hockey 1.4 by 50% to celebrate this news. We think the pressure of waiting has driven a few screws loose over there.
The ponderous gentlemen at Logistics and Appearances insist we mention this is a maintenance update of the current game.
Our Futurists will have it known that new gameplay features are already in progress for the next update, and that it will have brought change to the calm streets of SteamPunkHockeyopolis.
Thank you and good tidings!
** update SteamPunk Hockey 1.6 with Retina Display and Game Center is now LIVE in the App Store **
The boffins at Central Planning are proud to announce SteamPunk Hockey for iPad has been conveyed to the App Store.
Version 1.2.0 iPad features:
? 1 to 4 players at once. Double-team on one opponent or double up both sides
? Up to FOUR discs at once
* Game Center leaderboard
? SIX high-quality backgrounds including exclusive ‘Time Traveller’ and new ‘SteamPumpkin Hallowe’en’ backgrounds
* Music by MorningDew Media
? One-button *fast* start-to-play
? Auto-save settings, level, score: pick up and play anytime!
? Replay unlocked levels
? Forty-eight levels premade
? Endless random levels thereafter
? AI plant life/Robot/Sentient selector
? Switchable soft/hard puck bounces
? Particles on/off
? Five obstacle types: accelerator, bead, barrier and gliding pylon, exploding “breakout” brick
? Musical sounds
? Obstacles on/off
? Physics-based motion ? Choice of paddle and disc sizes
The fellows in Mechanics have worked both over-time and magic into the iPad offering to produce a new ‘Huddle-phonic’ sensation – up to four players may compete on the iPad electrical device! Man against robot, man against fellow man, a gutter dust-up of two against one, or equal odds for the noble-hearted.
Mechanics have also added a ‘Lucid Re-configuration Circuit’ to redraw the screen as the device is rotated in-hand. Therefore SteamPunk Hockey may be played in any orientation, laterally or vertically.
Lest we forget, the Futurists will have left a note on Central Planning’s desks – how will they have done that? – that sea change is coming to SteamPunkHockeyopolis’ competitive features.
SteamPunk Hockey v1.4.5 is LIVE in the App Store. iTunes Link
Central Planning reports yet more options to customize gameplay, including one to four discs at once and a special ‘hard bounce / soft bounce’ switch.
As always, level and score are saved across upgrades, and the fine fellows in Mechanicals have ensured that your pleasure can begin with the single touch of a button!
Innovative obstacles redirect the discs during gameplay to challenge expectations at each level. For those eager to collect OpenFeint Achievements, ‘unlocked’ levels may be replayed at will.
SteamPunk Hockey’s robotic intelligence has been adjusted to better protect its home goal territory against simultaneous discs, and appears to have ‘un-learned’ some unfortunate lessons as to which goal to score. A fine candidate for boarding school where there ever one to be seen.
Your reviews and support are readily and gratefully accepted by Central Planning, and our fellow Futurists are planning yet more intriguing game features for you, the gentle player.